Castiel finds God
by rachaelphilip
Summary: Cas finds God and is releaved that the almighty will help. R&R please and enjoy! xxx
1. Castiel finally finds God

Castiel finally finds God

Several months after getting the amulet off Dean, Castiel could feel it burning gently in his hands. His heart beat fast as he looked around. As he walked, the amulet burned hotter, then cooler with each direction Castiel turned, as if it were a compass.

At last it was almost too hot to touch, and in front of Castiel sat a middle-aged man who wore a gentle and knowing smile on his face.

"Father?" Castiel croaked, his voice failing him with nerves.

The man looked at him, his smile growing wider until at last he said;

"The amulet never lies, child."

Shaking, Castiel knelt in front of God, but before he could speak, Castiel was suddenly overcome with grief and began to cry uncontrollably.

God waited patiently while Castiel wept.

"I…I have failed you father." he admitted sorrowfully.

"Are you sorry for what you did, Castiel - for killing other angels that threatened Dean and Sam? For disobeying?"

Castiel stopped crying and thought deeply of things, before looking up and answering with all truth.

"No."

"And why are you not sorry?"

"Because…I have developed feelings for the boys. They lost everything but each other, and I couldn't allow them to lose each other. I thought saving Dean was just part of the big plan, but I felt for him when I saw him suffering in perdition. I - I saw his grief and anguish even as he tortured the other souls. I can see the pain in his very soul every time he looks at Sam, yet he stands by and deals with the pain because he loves his brother so much. I stood by as Dean rebelled first - but I didn't see darkness, I saw bravery, because Dean was terrified of what he was doing. Yet he did it, because he truly felt from the bottom of his heart that it was right to rebel, because heaven was wrong. And I agree. The other angels want to kill Sam in case he says yes to Lucifer, yet they are desperate for Dean to say yes to Michael. They blame Sam for his wicked ways, yet he is enveloped in a darkness he cannot escape, no matter how desperately hard he fights it. And Sam, despite his darkness, is still loyal to the good through it all. He stands by his brother and craves acceptance, if not by you. I see inside him and see his anguish every time he silently prays and heeds no answer. I see the determination every time he says no to Lucifer and is mocked by him. I see the heartbreak every time he and Dean fight and the desperateness to be forgiven for all he has done, from stealing to drinking demon blood. That is why I am not sorry, father. Because I have seen Sam and Dean's desperate suffering and have felt it. Yet they are determined to win against Lucifer and Michael because they want every apple pie family to be safe and secure - they want each other to be safe, and I've seen that they have given up their very souls for each other. Please forgive me for all my wrongdoings, but I cannot turn my back against Dean and Sam after all I have seen and felt."

Castiel breathed out - he felt light after letting such a heavy load off his chest, but did not look at the lord, fearful of his reaction.

Because of this, Castiel did not see the proud tear escaping God's own eye.

"You have done so well, my son!" he praised, much to Castiel's fascination.

The angel looked upon the heavenly father.

God told Castiel to sit on the seat opposite him, as it was much more comfortable than kneeling in front of him.

For the first time in months, Castiel obeyed.

God considered him for a moment while choosing his word.

"Cas, as I believe your now called," he smiled, watching as Cas smiled back, "I have been watching and listening all of the happenings, and it will surprise you to know that I am currently disgusted with heaven at the present moment."

Castiel's jaw dropped, as the angel watched the father in stunned silence.

God continued.

"Michael is not pleasing me. I told him I was coming back to Earth for a short period of time, and entrusted the whole of heaven to him.

"He agreed to my wishes of course, but I still know all, so I was not pleased with Michael at all when he idly put Zachariah in charge.

We both knew that Zachariah was too proud and arrogant to command something as just as heaven. He turned the other angels, Cas. But I watched you as you developed loyalty to the Winchester brothers, and your understanding of what is right and wrong developed. You understood that the orders Zachariah were given were wrong, and you bravely rebelled against them. I am proud of you for doing so, Cas.

You have never let your faith in me totally slip away. Weaken, yes, but you always had some left to grab a hold of when you felt really low.

You still prayed to me, which is more than the other angels and half the human population. But I understand them, Cas, and I will forgive them willingly if they mean their apologies. If they truly crave my forgiveness. It is sad to know only about 20% of heaven's host will be forgiven, because only 20% care anymore. I can see how they think and feel. I see how you think and feel Castiel. I can see you crave my forgiveness for the murders, and I do forgive you. You have stood by Sam and Dean through thick and thin, and I acknowledge that, though you did let your anger slip and gave Dean a fair beating."

He watched Castiel's eyes shoot to the floor in shame, and smiled.

"I er, regret that incident very much - I should've known better than to release so much anger on Dean, after everything he had faced." Castiel said, looking back up to God.

The almighty smiled and forgave him before continuing.

"I told Joshua to tell Sam and Dean to 'back off' but of course I knew they would disobey, and I am happy they did."

He observed Castiel as the angel suddenly shifted with growing discomfort - he knew what was coming, and didn't like it one bit.

"I saw your faith almost shatter after that, Cas. You seemed to think I was a 'son of a bitch'?"

Castiel stared at the floor which was suddenly fascinating.

He gulped in air to try and calm his nerves before answering at last.

"I am sorry about that - truly - but I had just been told that you no longer cared about anything, that Armageddon was no longer your problem and you told Sam and Dean to back off from the fight despite they being the only souls able to stop it."

God smiled, which made Cas feel a little bit more at ease.

"I did a little lying, I must admit." he said, "of course I care, and of course the apocalypse is my problem. And of course I want Sam and Dean to help. I wish to meet them in fact, but you must warn them first. I'm afraid it may be too overwhelming for them if I just suddenly appeared. Dean's rage must be soothed before he meets me as well."

Castiel nodded, knowing how angry Dean was with God at the present.

"Go on then, Cas."

The angels nodded his head in an awkward bow, which the lord found amusing, but he didn't show it in case he hurt Castiel's feelings.

As the angel left, God called after him.

"No need to walk, Cas. You'll find your 'angel mojo' has returned to you, new and improved."

With that, God disappeared and Castiel found Sam and Dean to prepare them for the meeting with God.


	2. Sam and Dean meet God

**Sam and Dean meet God**

"**Dean? Sam?" Cas called out, his voice betraying his excitement.**

"**What's up?" Dean asked.**

"**You are about to be honoured with a meeting with God himself!" Cas explained.**

**Sam and Dean looked at each other sceptically.**

"**God?" Sam whispered.**

**Castiel nodded, knowing how devoted Sam had been to God since a teenager.**

"**You found God?" Dean asked, avoiding his brother's gaze.**

**Castiel nodded.**

"**Great - he can answer some frickin questions then!" Dean growled. **

**Sam looked at Dean.**

**Yes, God did owe them some answers, but did Dean have to talk about him with such disrespect?**

**Castiel was also unimpressed with Dean's attitude.**

"**Please Dean, less anger. He acknowledges the problems and has agreed to help us, but you MUST show him some respect. I'm asking you as a friend."**

**Dean looked at him and smiled to himself - Cas had never called him his friend before.**

"**Alright." he sighed, much to Sam and Castiel's relief.**

**God actually knocked on the door, much to Sam's fascination.**

**He knocked straight after Dean had said he would restrain his anger.**

**Castiel opened the door and stood back to let him in.**

**Sam shifted with high discomfort when God entered the room.**

**Dean stared at the almighty, not sure what to say.**

**Castiel knelt, but God told him to stand up, as he was very pleased with Castiel and didn't need the show of respect.**

"**Your **_**pleased**_** with Cas?" Sam asked confused, before averting his eyes again, "Uhh, lord?"**

**God smiled.**

"**Yes Sam, I am. I'm pleased with you as well, son."**

**Sam was really confused now, and hesitated before speaking again.**

"**But…I've done terrible things lord, and I feel disgusted with my self, Dean is disgusted with me, heaven is disgusted with me…"**

**God took Sam's hand in his and looked at him in the eye.**

"**Listen to me Sam Winchester. The powers you have are the result of a demon, not you. When you discovered the powers, you tried to use them for good and I see that - you wanted the victims to survive instead of been killed with Ruby's knife. I know your sorry - you've repented many times before and I know you desperately crave my forgiveness - well I am giving it to you, alright? No more guilt, you understand?"**

**Sam nodded while Dean looked at Castiel questioningly.**

"**God knows all, Dean." Cas answered, not taking his eyes of the heavenly father.**

**Dean looked at Sam who had clearly sagged with relief. A lot of stress had been throw out the window under God's mercy.**

**God smiled reassuringly at Sam before turning to Dean.**

"**Now Dean, I believe you wish to ask me a few questions?"**

**He had taken Dean off guard, but the latter quickly recovered.**

"**Yeah! For starters, where the hell have you been during, oh I don't know, the frickin apocalypse?" Dean demanded.**

**God sensed his anger and sighed.**

"**You really should keep your promises you know, Dean. You said you would keep you rage at bay."**

**Dean looked down before looking back up.**

"**Well, what about you? You promised to look after us, your creation and save us from harm - do you know how many people are dead?"**

**God answered, "2,304,766"**

**Dean stared at him.**

"**And 2.2 million of those were demons." God finished.**

"**So - only 204,766 people have died worldwide? So what! They didn't deserve to die!"**

"**Didn't they?" God asked, completely silencing Dean who was shocked to say the least.**

"**I do not kill innocents Dean. Those who died, due to the apocalypse anyway, were almost all worshipers of Satan. Only the children were truly innocent."**

"**Why did you let them die then?" Dean asked, his anger returning.**

**God's anger was starting to grow, and both Sam and Castiel felt it - they backed off, frightened at what could happen.**

"**Dean!" he warned, frightening the eldest hunter, "you do not understand the way I work, so hold you tongue while I speak!" **

**Dean fell silent, looking desperately awkward, before God continued.**

"**I know what the apocalypse means, Dean. It means torture and gallons of blood spilt because of it. I cannot just zap the children somewhere else, with their faith destroyed, unable to enter heaven because of it. But I could kill them and let them enjoy and eternity of peace, with no pain or anguish. Just simply and pure joy. wouldn't you do the same? Or would you allow the torture?"**

**Dean was extremely uncomfortable. He knew what he had done in hell, and he knew God knew.**

**At last he spoke again, barely with a whisper.**

"**I - I'm sorry. I should've know that you do things with good reason. Er…forgive me?" he suddenly pleaded and was overcome with the need to be forgiven by God.**

**God saw this and gently took Dean's hands in his. I forgive you Dean - you understand now. And I forgive you for what you did in perdition."**

**Dean breathed out with disbelief but absolute relief.**

**Castiel watched him as Dean looked up at God with new found faith.**

"**What should we do? Please, command us so we can follow you!"**

**Sam's jaw flew open, much to the lord's amusement.**

"**Of course. Sam - I need you to say yes to Lucifer and jump right into the fiery pit that is Lucifer's cage - do you understand me?"**

**Suddenly, he disappeared, leaving the room shell shocked.**

"**What - NO!" Dean barked to the air.**

**God was in fact there, but invisible. Castiel knew this and remained silent, but Sam and Dean thought he was really gone.**

"**Sam don't!" Dean said forcefully.**

"**Dean I have to! I cannot and will not disobey the direct command of God!" Sam answered, though he felt his brother's distress.**

"**Dean, just have faith! I'm sure God intends to return my body once Lucifer is separated from me, and even if he doesn't, I'll be happy in my suffering just knowing that I had had a full face to face conversation with him, and will be safe in the knowledge that there must be a reason for him not to bring me back."**

**Dean glared at him, but knew his little brother was right, though it didn't ease his pain.**

**He began to cry and held Sammy tight, refusing to let go.**

**They cried together and Castiel could see and feel their terrible pain, and it made him cry.**

**God appeared again and comforted Dean.**

"**Of course I will bring back Sam from perdition - I would never request anyone to damn their own souls willingly for me, ok?"**

**Sam and Dean nodded and sighed with relief.**

**God's eyes twinkled and he healed all three others of any pain and worry.**

"**I'm sorry I doubted you, father." Castiel apologies sincerely.**

"**You have already been forgiven, Cas, don't worry about a thing ever again, my son."**

**Cas nodded and smiled happily.**

"**And you'll find something very nice waiting for you in bobby's bedroom, Sam." God said.**

**Sammy left and return excitedly, with a dog in toe.**

"**Oh, Bones!" smiled Dean, laughing at the golden retriever who was extremely happy to see Sam."**

"**Who's Bones?" asked Castiel, watching the dog.**

"**I looked after him when I ran away for two weeks, once." Sam explained.**

"**Yeah, he kind of started an argument with us when we were in heaven!" Dean laughed, patting the dog's head.**

**Sam laughed, stroking the pup.**


	3. God commands the death of Zachariah

God commands the death of Zachariah

"Come with me!" God commanded Dean, Sam and Cas.

At once they obeyed, and found themselves in God's heaven.

All of heaven's host was there, and they froze when they realized God was in their presence.

About 20% was very excited and rejoiced, but the rest of heaven were terrified, knowing what they had done.

Michael was happy that God was back, but was surprised when God told him there would be no vessels.

But, he didn't ask questions, except for one;

"Where were you, father?"

"I was an existing matter, living only on the faith of my people - like from Cas, Dean and Sam, and about 20% of heaven." the almighty answered.

Michael was confused.

"All of heaven has faith in you, father!"

God shook his head.

"If you had cared for heaven like I told you to, this may not have happened, but you put Zachariah in charge, and he had corrupted their minds, and their hearts will never change now. They may never again bathe in my grace - and I hold Zachariah responsible.

"Where is he?" god asked, demanding the truth.

Michael put his head down, ashamed of what he had caused, and told him that Zachariah was in heaven 1345 - Einstein's heaven.

God used his power to drag Zachariah to him, and waited with silent fury as Zachariah shouted about it.

"Who did this, and how dare they? I'll have you killed you son of a bitch! Where are you!" he yelled, looking around.

He set eyes on Dean and Sam and his eyes narrowed dangerously.

He tried to use his power to kill Sam, but Cas blocked it fiercely.

"What the hell?" he demanded.

"Oh I'm new and improved - I'm an archangel now, so don't even try and attack Dean nor Sam!"

Zachariah was furious, but was set on killing Sam.

So, he took a knife that killed angels and lunged towards Cas, but he stood still with a confident grin on his face.

The knife entered Cas, but he did not die.

"Huh…but, only…only…"

"Only god can save an angel from perishing under such a knife?" asked Cas, staring with glee at Zachariah, who's face fell with dread.

"I will give you the opportunity to explain yourself Zachariah." god said, filling the angel with dread.

"Well father…I, I er, I have no excuse for my behaviour. I can only beg for you forgiveness." the angel answered, his head dropping.

God looked into Zachariah's soul and saw he was lying - the angel was not sorry, he was just afraid because god was more powerful than him.

Angrily, god said;

"I will not forgive you, Zachariah, because I know you are not sorry - and I command Michael to send you to hell to share the cage with Lucifer - maybe I'll check on you in a few millenniums and see if your truly sorry." God said thoughtfully.

"Please, father…no! Please!" Zachariah pleaded.

God considered him.

He was merciful after all.

"Fine. I will abolish the torment of hell and I sentence you to death!" he raged.

Cas gasped, but did not argue. He took the knife that was still in him and threw it into Zachariah's heart. He died instantly.


	4. The apocolypse is abolished

The apocalypse is abolished

"What happens when an angel dies?" asked Dean thoughtfully, "I mean what do they see for all eternity?"

God looked at him.

"If it is a good angel, they will see pure white and I will resurrect them. If they are bad angels, like Zachariah, they will be enveloped in dark silence."

Dean whistled a long drone tune and looked at Cas, who was looking highly uncomfortable.

"I just killed another soul." he whispered sadly, his eyes never leaving the floor.

God heard him and offered comfort.

"Son, you did as I commanded - you should not feel guilty."

Cas nodded, but his guilt did not ease.

God watched him intently as he read his mind.

"Son - Zachariah would've killed both Sam and Dean, and caused the death of millions of others - wouldn't't that guilt be even greater than the guilt you feel now?"

Castiel hadn't thought of it that way and smiled, his guilt finally lifting.

Satisfied, God then turned to the host of heaven.

"Everyone who doubted me when they heard of my death, speak up now and your punishment will not be as great."

Several angels owned up, and some were truly ashamed and sorry.

God forgave those few and they were bless again with much relief.

The others were not sorry and were sent packing to the pit to see the suffering they helped cause.

Then God turned to the angels who had not owned up.

He banished most of them, but saw the rest were truly sorry but had been to scared to admit their wrongdoing. They were forgiven and were hugged by God's grace again. Heaven was pure once more.

As a final word, God said;

"All of the demons have been killed, so there is to be no more suffering in the world unless deserved or inflicted by the humans themselves.

"Now Sam and Dean - go home and have that 'apple pie family' you have always dreamed about - of course, Castiel will be your guarian angel and friend until the day you are laid to rest, and all of eternity after that. Good day, my sons."

With that, Sam, Dean and Castiel found themselves at Bobby's house again, all three grinning like children - children who had been refilled with the love of God and true faith and happiness.


	5. Dean prays

**Dean prays **

**A few hours after the trio returned to Earth, Dean excused himself and went outside.**

**As he watched the stars and they twinkled, he grinned with real happiness - something he hadn't felt in many years.**

"**Thank you! Thank you so much, our father who art in heaven!" he called out to the skies, really meaning it.**

**He drove to Lisa's house and made up for lost time.**

**As he entered the house, Lisa said;**

"**Thank God your alright!"**

**Dean looked at he, and told her those words could never be truer.**

**THE END**


End file.
